Ollie Onion

"Mom. Why do onions make people cry?" asked Ollie Onion.
"Because we are onions dear", said mom.
"I don't want to make people cry mom, " said Ollie Onion.
"But that is what we do ," said mom.
"So if I don't make people cry, does that mean I am not an onion."
"Don't worry sweetie, when the time comes, you will make others cry and you will be great at it, just like your father and his father," said Ollie Onion's mom.
"Oh, I'm not worried about it mom, maybe I just wont make anyone cry, maybe I will make them smile. Who knows maybe I will make them laugh," replied Ollie.
Mommy onions mouth popped open and she let out a big gasp. "Oh no Ollie! That isn't allowed. We are never supposed to make anyone smile and certainly not laugh. You shouldn't say such things. An onion making someone laugh. That would bring great shame to our family and the Onion Community."
"If I can't make others happy, then I don't want to be an onion anymore. I'd rather be a tomato or corn." Ollie ran away from his mom just as she was fainting.
Ollie ran and ran across the huge garden where he lived. He knew he wasn't supposed to leave the onion area. Onions kept to themselves for the most part. They didn't get along with the other veggies.
He spent the whole afternoon just exploring the garden and meeting and talking to all the friendly veggies. He asked everyone he met the same thing. "If I stop being an onion, then what can I be?"
Russell Sprouts told Ollie he could become a teacher like he was and he could shape and mold all the young seedlings that grow and live in the garden.
Zander Lee didn't know what to tell Ollie but he did say being a tomato wasn't all that exciting. He should know he said. He had been one as long as he could remember.
Paw Tato said he should be himself and be be whatever he wanted to be but that at the very least, he would always be an onion.
Tom A. Tow told Ollie that he should be a comedienne.
"What's a comedienne?" asked Ollie. "It is someone who tells jokes and makes others smile and laugh, " said Tom.
"That sounds fun," said Ollie. "But I don't know any jokes".
"I have an idea. Ask all the new friends you have made today, if they know any jokes you could use and make up a few of your own and then we will have a comedy show. We can invite the whole garden. See if you can get your friends and family to come."
"Maybe it will change their minds about letting you choose to be who you want to be."
Ollie loved the idea of being a comedienne. It's just what he wanted to be. He knew his parents and the other onions would not be happy. Onions make people cry and that is that. Ollie thought that if he could just change his parents minds, then maybe, just maybe, he could change the others and that would be a good thing.
Ollie spent the next week collecting and writing jokes. His family and a few of the other onions agreed to come and see Ollie's show but they made it clear it would only be for this one time and that they are not happy about this nonsense of him being a comedienne.
The day of the show finally arrived. Word had spread about the show, not just in the garden but throughout the farm.
Veggies, farm animals and even Farmer Brown came to see this Ollie Onion that everyone was talking about.
"Afternoon everyone. Good to see you all. Thanks to Farmer Brown for planting us here in this beautiful garden. Get ready to have your funny seeds tickled. Making his debut here here in the garden, an onion who needs no introduction."
"Then how will we know who he is?" asked Grump Pea.
"Oh right!" said Tom A. Tow.
"Here he is, the one and only Ollie Onion!".
Ollie was very nervous as he stood at the top of a potato mound. Everyone clapped politely. Everyone, except the onions, who looked like they would rather be chopped than be here.
"Thank you for coming today," Ollie said, clearing his throat.
"Why did the chicken cross the road?" asked Ollie.
"To get to the other side so he wouldn't have to listen to you," shouted one of the roosters, making all the animals laugh. Ollie took a deep breathe and looked straight at the rooster. "Why did the rooster run away?
"I don't know," replied the rooster.
"Because he was chicken," answered Ollie.
The animals continued to laugh but now the veggies joined in.
"I better move on to another subject. I don't want to be known as a comedihen".
Ollie really had their attention now.
"What is green and can jump a mile a minute?" asked Ollie. A grasshopper with hiccups was his reply.
"What did one tomato say to the other?" asked Ollie.
"I don't know," said Tom A. Tow. "What did he say?".
"He said you go ahead and I will ketchup."
Tom rolled onto his back and was holding his sides.
"How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? A pumpkin patch of course."
The farmyard was filled with laughter. Everyone was enjoying themselves. Everyone except the onions who just sat and stared.
He told joke after joke. Veggies were rolling around between the rows. The animals were jumping around and having the best time. Ollie even made milk come out of one of the cow's nose.
Still nothing from the onions.
"I'm glad everyone is having fun," said Ollie looking straight at his parents. "I was a little nervous when I first came out. I was afraid you might laugh."
"I decided not to make any jokes about Farmer Brown. I like water and fertilizer too much. Seriously though, Farmer Brown's a great man. He is always outstanding in his field. Thank you very much. I'm Ollie Onion.
The whole farmyard stood on their feet and applauded Ollie. Farmer Brown was slapping his knee. The chickens were clucking it up. Tom A. Tow gave Ollie the thumbs up. Paw Tato was as proud as he could be of his new little friend.
Ollie's parents noticed how much fun everyone was having and they didn't know what to think. They loved Ollie very much and wanted him to have a good life. Then Ollie's mom noticed something. Her eyes darted from one veggies face to another. Then she looked at the farm animals and finally at Farmer Brown. It was an interesting thing she noticed. She leaned over and said something to Ollie's dad. Ollie noticed something was happening. Then Ollie's dad looked around at all the faces. Then both of Ollie's parents looked at him and smiled. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. He smiled back and his day was complete. But what changed their minds? Sometimes in life you can get to the same point by traveling a different road. Everyone in the farmyard had been laughing so hard, tears were streaming down their faces. Ollie had made more cry at once than any onion in history. The word spread throughout the Onion Community. The onions started looking at things differently. They started talking with the other veggies and life was never the same for them. Ollie Onion had changed their world with laughter and that was a good thing.